To some degree I’ve been at a loss for words….

But I had someone ask me today if I feel a let down at this point post-donation. And I had to stop and think. If you recall, one of the concerns pre-donation is that the donor could have this sense of loss, or post-partum like depression post donation. The concept being that there is a whole bunch of hype and attention heaped upon the donor pre-surgery, and once the deed is done, the attention shifts to the recipient. And you might recall that my response was that while I understand the concept, I don’t like attention, I don’t crave it, I prefer to just be me. So, in that respect – nope, don’t feel any profound loss. I do feel some itching though…my large incision itches. Oops, that was a tangent….

My good friends Billy and Stephanie had to give up one of their dogs this weekend. They are so sad. And I know it was a really hard decision for them, but the circumstances made it necessary. But, it’s really made me think more about this concept of loss. The reality is – I don’t think I could ever give up Brin or Gabby (or Sebastian or Kirby). And if something happened that I needed to – that would be a harder decision for me than donating a kidney to help someone else. So, I’m willing to suffer a loss in some circumstances and for something that has really so far proven to be with little consequences to me, but when it comes to breaking my own heart with the loss of one of my pets – I’m not so courageous.

Shifting a bit – I needed to have my annual appointment with my PCP (primary care physician) this morning. And it was kind of amusing. I pretty much had to tell her what to expect in the coming months regarding monitoring my health. She is totally knowledgeable about what impacts kidney function, etc – but has never treated a living donor. She was so fascinated with the surgery and my recovery. She looked at my scars and thinks everything felt okay and seems to be healing very well. My blood pressure was a bit high so I need to start monitoring that, but for some reason my BP does seem to fluctuate a bit. If it stays elevated though, I will need to start taking meds. I’ll blog more next about the impact of hypertension on the kidney(s).

For all you pet(dog) lovers, please be thinking about and praying for Billy and Stephanie and hoping Newman the Corgi finds the perfect home for the holidays.


4 thoughts on “Loss

  1. Sarah,
    I am the same way you are. I never thought twice about being a donor and to this day think I did nothing out of the ordinary and dislike attention brought to the donation. I would feel more upset about the loss of a pet than I do an organ.
    After my surgery, I was given a certificate and a pin for the great gift I gave, I put it away and don’t think twice about it.

    The itching will go away, I discovered scratching another part of my body help psychologically… Maybe I’m just crazy for think that.


    • Same here, I found wanting to donate an easy decision to make.

      I did have to give away two dogs once, very very upsetting. This was about 23 years ago and I still have to block out the emotional pain of it all, I cannot think about them for more than a few seconds or I feel the tears coming and have to block out the feelings.

      I had no depression after my kidney donation, in fact quite the opposite I was really excited and chuffed that someone was now able to get back to a much better quality of life.

      Nicole, I too got a pin and certificate. Was not expecting that, and was quite moved by the gesture. I was expecting some sort of depression mainly from the surgery itself as heard any surgery can cause depression, but I never got any (thank goodness). My emotions all settled very quickly within a few days and soon did not really think about any of it at all. Many months down the line I still get itching in one incision (during hot weather) .. so maybe I will take your advice and scratch somewhere else, lol.

  2. I am so sorry for Billy and Stephanie – would break my heart as well to have to give up Mr. B. But you at a loss for words? i don’t believe it!

  3. I have been an organ donor since my 16th birthday when I received my drivers license and reading your stories and your experiences just makes it that much more of a reason to give if the time comes.

    I admire both of you so much!


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